I've begun each entry of late with an apology for my lack of updates. To be perfectly honest, I've made many an attempt to fill this little white box with all the clever words I could muster, but always, my fingers found their way back to the delete key.
I'm never satisfied. But hey, I'm human! And like every other creature, I'm deeply, deeply flawed. I can't help it, only do my best to make good on the things I have.
October 26th is fast approaching; another birthday to be had. Saying that I'm absolutely mortified about this would be a grand understatement. I'm getting old. Too old, I think, for my tastes. Thus, I've decided that from this year onward, I'll subtract a year from my total rather than add one on. Coupled with heavy drinking, subconscious suggestion and preferably a mad scientist's formula for eternal youth, I'll have this crisis averted yet.
In the mean time, I'll just have to accept yet another truth: I'm a 10 year old trapped in the body of a 22 year old. I still prefer chocolate milk and apple juice to most beverages, I still highly enjoy Saturday morning cartoons, video games and all the childishness you'd expect of someone who could never really grow up. So this year, rather than wish me "happy birthday!" I'd much prefer if you simply wished me "Good Luck!" dealing with this.
I always imagined that by 22, I'd be mostly or completely done with school, have a career in front of me and a life of relative ease. Clearly, I had my life mistaken for someone else's. Graduation is something that is still light years away from where I am now, further still if I commit to the chances I'm considering taking. Don't get me wrong, I know that nothing ever goes according to plan and life is certainly more interesting this way, but once upon a time, I had different dreams.
Now, the only thing I seem to wish for is a freaking zombie apocalypse. (Any moment now would be nice.)
At least I've got my heart. Five months in is fairly impressive, I'd say! She keeps me moving forward, one heart-beat at a time.