I'm going to offend you. I'm going to say things with unabashed arrogance and the utmost certainty, even if I don't believe in it myself just because I know I can. I will scrutinize and criticize every detail. What I'm saying is that I've a gift for being honest. These aren't the things you should be worried about.
In the battle of brain v.s. heart, in my case at least, you should be hoping they both destroy each other. Warm nights bring out the very worst in me and I feel like more and more, I'm becoming the person I had been. This, more than any reason, is why I spent so long cut off from friends and loved ones. Why I ignored calls and text-messages and lived like a recluse for months upon months.
I can't change because I'm sure that deep enough down, I don't want to.