Tuesday, February 24, 2009

Vote Now!

Well, I've certainly put off writing in here for some time now! I wish I had some clever, wonderful and time-consuming-to-explain-so-as-to-better-fill-this-blog reason for that. The truth is that I've simply nothing to say! Shocking, I know! The king of perpetual slip of the tongue, master of the rant-en-masse, with not so much as few words to cobble together for his three or four internet readers.

My apologies, loves! It shan't happen again, not at least for a few days! But this does bring up a vexing issue: I've still nothing to say! Oh, sure, I've managed to write this far in without having anything, sure, but one can only work wit from nothingness for so long before it grows stale!

A quick update on the life-and-times of Jav, The Avenger. Well, for the last few days I've been completely out of commission. What started out as a hang over turned into me losing my voice and mutating into a full blown virus. Coughing, sneezing, projectile rainbows in the middle of the night, cuddling with my long-time lover, the toilet bowl! Not how I imagined the opening weekend to my reading week vacation would pass, but I'd be lying if I said I didn't feel somewhat relaxed by just sitting in bed under no obligation to do anything for once.

Thankfully, my voice is now starting to return and my Wolverine-esque immune system is destroying what illness I may have once known. Hopefully, the rest of this week can be spent relaxing, filming more videos, writing and enjoying the (read: drunken) company of friends.


Finally, I have a favor to ask of you, my darling readers! A question in dire need of being answered, and with honesty! A question of the utmost importance, the outcome of which could shape the fate of all!

Should I keep my hair as it is, allow it to grow out or cut it short once more?
Which do you think I should go with? I've provided pictures below, tell me what you think!
Current:






Longer?






Weirder? /Shorter?





Cut it all off?

Wednesday, February 11, 2009

Tuesday, February 10, 2009

I Could Swear I Heard You Say...

The 9th went by without a single thought. Old scars seem to be nothing more than marks on skin and I can say, after all these years, the weight of it is almost gone completely. In fact, none of it had even occurred to me until just now, as I wrote the day for an essay I had only just finished and realized what it signified.

Old news, isn't it? Sure, but I wasn't quite so thick-skinned then. Have I grown? I can only hope. This isn't to say that I've forgotten, just that I don't have to carry it around on my shoulders anymore. I used to wonder if you'd catch the day and if it meant the same to you, but I've come to accept that other ghosts will haunt you, not mine. There was a time where I would have said that you are my only ghost, but I don't quite feel so haunted anymore.

This song has always meant a lot to me for all the memories I've associated to it, but now that I've finally lived the words, it takes on a whole new depth. It has been on loop for the last half-hour.


The End of an Era - Hopesfall

All this to say it all goes on!


p.s. Sorry, I know this is cryptic as hell and I don't expect anyone to understand what I'm talking about. That's fine.

Monday, February 9, 2009

Midterms Cause Cancer.

I am what I am, for who else could I be?

I don't know what it is about me at the moment, but I feel strange. I know that I'm far from having achieved anything truly noteworthy and I know that I'm still far from near the end of the road when it comes to school. The list of things (it exists!) I want to do before I'm 25 (oh god, I don't even want to think about it.) isn't any shorter, and quite frankly, I've slacked off on essentially everything.

So why do I feel so content with myself? What's with this satisfactory feeling washing over me and how do I get it to stick around?


What's on the agenda for tomorrow, Javvy?
Why, I'm glad you ask! ESSAY WRITING, ESSAY WRITING, TEST, ESSAY WRITING!
Go-go-gadget midterms.



p.s. I got a Twitter. It's kind of extremely addictive and I think everyone needs to get on there with me. Do it, or feel the wrath of my team of zombie crack ninja babies.


p.p.s. this video made me die laughing.

Sunday, February 8, 2009

We Only Come Out At Night

So, it's 4:44 a.m. I figure that's an appropriate time as any to start writing a new blog for the week. It's sunday! Ha, that means I've a day left to finish two papers that I probably won't even consider starting until sometime around midnight. That's dedication for you!

I've been playing on my computer a lot of late, and I don't mean games. What with my new-found hobby of vlog-making, I've been goofing around quite a bit with all the editing software I can get my hands on. Beyond that, I found a torrent full of great VSTi plugins for Adobe Auditions, Mixcraft and my personal favorite? An 8-bit synth sequencer for FL Studio. Basically, I've been composing NES-era music all weekend. It's a ridiculous amount of fun, except that it's worrisome how much time I can actually, willing spend sitting here, in front of this screen.

Oh well! I've had a social life, it's overrated. Besides, so long as it's still winter, I'm going to continue to be a hermit. In that regard, I've been sober for two weeks now. Two whole weeks. That isn't to say I haven't had a drink or twenty, but not drunk! Ha, I haven't done something quite like this since...well, when I had to go those six months after the alcohol poisoning fiasco. Wet shrimp, anyone? Girls just want to have fun will never be the same, ever.

I'm in a strange place at the moment. I'm feeling this intense need to be as creative as humanly possible in as many ways as I can imagine, but at the same time, I don't actually feel motivated to do anything productive. Of course, I blame academia for this and the many stressing and discouraging factors that come as a result of college life. All the same, it feels good to have so many outlets at my finger-tips again. Especially in terms of music, which is something I had (foolishly) cut out of my life for some time.



ALSO!

Uh, Blink 182 reunion! What the hell? Talk about completely out of nowhere. Wasn't Tom Delonge just saying not too long ago that he wouldn't ever play those songs again just because he's "grown up" or something? Whatever the reason, this should be interesting even if only for the sake of nostalgia. The last two years have been full of great bands getting back together. Death From Above? Take a page from it. Oh, hey, Mars Volta? Sparta? Join forces. Get back to being At the Drive-In, kthnx.



Someone told me today that they think the 90's are going to make a comeback, but really, is that such a good idea? I mean, sure Nickelodeon was spectacular and t.v. in general was at it's best but...

do we really want grunge to happen a second time? Or what about Nu-Metal? Baggy jeans and extra-large band t-shirts with backwards baseball caps or cotton-flannel shirts three sizes too big over baggy jeans? On the bright side, we could bring Kurt Cobain back to life so he can kill himself again. I'd be perfectly down with that.

Anyway!

No idea what I'm writing about anymore, which means it's as good a time as any to stop.


p.s. Chrissy, I found the photobooth picture. I stuck it in my wallet to show you next chance I get. Methinks it time we takes some new ones, too!

Wednesday, February 4, 2009

So...

I'm jumping on the bandwagon and making youtube videos now.



I'm lame, I know, but it's fun.

Tuesday, February 3, 2009

Wax Wings:Rough Draft + Haiku

She knew nothing of soaring. Wax wings could never attain great heights, nor support the loftiness of her ambitions. The breeze did nothing to lift her spirits. She felt the wind like thousands of tiny good-bye kisses, giving her weight. Never hers was the breathlessness of dancing upon the clouds, or kissing the horizon as the sun made it's debut. She could not move effortlessly from here to there, nor cast away her chains; something of which she was constantly aware.

But still she danced and danced, for hers was the gravity of knowing her steps left markings in the sand that even if only temporarily, re-affirmed that she had been there. Hers was the depth of understanding that she alone would be welcomed into the open embrace of the roaring sea.

So she lept, with baited breath, to meet with new expanses or her doom again and again. Hers had been a narrow view, framed by iron bars that spoke nothing of the approaching dawn that crept out from beneath the starlight, for she knew nothing of dreams.

And now she knows of falling.
She knew nothing of the bright, blue sky.
----------------------













Kiss to break the pace;
Romance is a shallow dream,
Love to kill the time.

Monday, February 2, 2009

They Think I Might Be A Queen!

I told myself a thousand times that I would try and get some sleep tonight. It doesn't seem to be working. Worse, I'm starting to get the mother of all headaches. Watching the Steelers take the Superbowl at Adam's while destroying my body with more chicken wings, nachos and chili than it was even meant to consume was good times, as always.

I've got two papers to write for Wednesday and one for Friday, not to mention a test thursday afternoon on material I haven't even bothered to read yet. Can you say fallen desperately behind?

Spring needs to get here and quick.

So, I have a question to ask of anyone that reads this. Do I act or seem gay to you? I don't care one way or another, it won't change anything at all, but it's something that's been getting thrown in my direction lately. Nothing against anyone who is, but what the fuck? I mean, granted it has never come from anyone who actually knows me, not until today at least, but it's really strange. I can't think of anything I do that would give that impression, but lately I've apparently just been giving off that vibe? I get asked by the other people in my classes, friends of friends, my brother's friends, and now even my own father!

Awkward story time:
I got home from watching the football game and my Dad was watching some of the post-game coverage on the couch in the living room. He says hi, asks me to sit down and brings up some of the junk going on with my brother at the moment. I'm thinkin' nothing of any of this until he just outright asks me "So...are you gay?"

At first, I thought he was joking and the surprise of it made me burst out laughing. Then he gave me the "I mean it" look and my head filled with a million and one questions, though mainly "how in the fuck?" over and over again. His basis for wanting to know is simply because while I seem to have many friends who are girls, I haven't actually "dated" anyone in years, and in his words, "what with your pants always so tight and your hitler hair-cut (he's apparently been listening to radiohead), I can't tell anymore." I tried to reassure him, but I think he remains unconvinced.

It's kind of hilarious, but it's not a joke I want to last very long.

Oh well, at least I have my guilty pleasure in Gossip Girl to look forward to tonight. Good times.