Friday, January 30, 2009

Finally, Let's Distinguish When Connections Fall Away

Funny thing, exhaustion. Not Ha-Ha funny in the comedic sense of the word, nor is it ironic, or even so much as an amusing notion as it is a peculiar thing. I've just now slept for about half an hour. When I came around, realizing what had happened, another realization occurred. I'm more tired after now having slept, thought only briefly, than when I had been awake for an extended period of time. Worse still, I'm now groggy and uncoordinated, which is making things harder than they should be.

Also, as much as I appreciate the concern of some, please stop suggesting that I "just take sleeping pills." If it were that simple, don't you think I would have come up with the idea myself a long time ago? The simple fact is that I hate unnecessary medication and loathe having to rely on some pill just to function "normally".

Anyways, all this to say I felt better having not slept at all than I do now, having finally gotten a bit of rest.

At the moment, I'm having a Hannibal Lecter marathon. I started with Manhunter, went into Silence of the Lambs and Hannibal and just now started Red Dragon, which is my personal favorite.

My writing is essentially out of practice and worse, I have a whole slew of assignments due over the coming week...

but none of that matters because this is Superbowl Weekend. Blah, blah, blah, I know, why should a Canadian care about American Football, or why do I care about sports at all, I've heard it before and the answer is just as simple:

A) The CFL is just an outright cluster fuck of suck. An epic-fail fiasco, I don't care what anyone says. I love our country and all, but wow, the CFL is a child that should have been aborted twice; once with a coat hanger and again with a well-placed Falcon Punch straight to the gut.

b)How can you not love strategy and violence? That's really all there is to it. Not surprised that my team didn't go all the way this year for a second season straight, but hey, anything is better than another Patriots victory. Who'd have thought the Cardinals, of all teams, would get into the playoffs, let alone the division champs, let alone into the superbowl at all. The Steelers are still going to crush them, but hey, they made a good run of it. Many beers will be ingested, many nachos and chicken wings will be consumed.

Thanks to a conversation today, my love for the tamagotchi has been restored and I'm eagerly seeking some out. Not just any dollar-store dino will suffice, either! I'm looking for one of those bad-ass ones that could connect to the others and fight! Or, better still, those Pokemon tamagotchi like the Pikachu or the Togepi. I will not rest until I have a new digital pet.,

I can't stop listening to the more recent Damiera album. It is outright brilliant. Essentially, they sound like the love child of The Fall of Troy and Minus the Bear.

Immure - Damiera

Wednesday, January 28, 2009

Holy Shit.

I miss these guys, these days and that life. Still, we gave it up for a reason.

Saturday, January 24, 2009


You guys realize that I have a tracker on my blog, right? That nifty little box over on the right gives me all kinds of interesting stats; not just how many people visited this page or that sort of thing.

To the person who comes to my blog every Monday morning, using Internet Explorer 6 from Laval? You're running Windows ME and that is terribly worrisome, buddy. All the same, I love that you always come to my blog directly after reading's main page. It's very flattering to think that right after you've caught up on significant world events, you like to come see what is going on in the land of Jav.

To the Mac user from the UK who stumbled upon my blog, I'm assuming by accident, through googling "how do I use javex to clean the blood off my jeans", I have to say, I had hoped you'd know better. Javex is -terrible- for your jeans and will end up bleaching them to death, ruining both the color and fading them out insanely beyond that. If you want my advice, let it soak in warm water for a while then give it a good wash with a strong detergent.

As a side note and point of pride: I just beat Mega Man X entirely in 43 minutes and 22 seconds. Bad-fucking-ass.

What's in Your Head?

Wow, the adventures never seem to cease around here. By that, of course, I mean that I'm bored out of my mind. I cannot stand Friday nights when there is absolutely nothing to do, if only because of the added suck of knowing that it is friday night, after all.

I sort of broke my phone tonight, too. By sort of, I mean that it got snapped in half. Yes, for those that know me, this is the shitty Razr that I had replacing my other phone, which met a watery end. During the night's adventures over in the land of BlogTV with the ever-amazing Gwynzilla, I sort of dropped my power-ranger morpher onto my spare laptop battery which, in turn, fell and dragged my t.v. converter down with it onto my cell phone, which was charging on the floor. One loud crash later and, thanks to gravity, I am now without a cell phone. Hopefully I can find some other old, shitty replacement lying around until I can buy a new one...but really, enough is enough. This is three cell phones in the span of two months.

It's only week three into the semester and I already feel like I'm behind on so much material. Two papers to write, a 5 page poem, two short stories and an exam to study for. Oh, how I miss the simple times of getting drunk at 10 a.m., going to Rat Hole and just playing guitar all day.

In non-shitty news, I randomly got a cheque in the mail the other day for some piece of prose I got published like, two years ago. I hadn't thought about it in a really long time and while it's only something like 70$, that is still pretty sweet to have dropped on your lap.

I guarantee it won't last me through the weekend, though.

It is fucking cold outside right now and I never would have made the voyage if not for these:

Who needs sleep when I can get fat and have a heart attack instead?
Good times.

As always, I'm leaving you with yet another video. This one is from one of my favorite songs from the 90's. I'm actually recording a cover of this song, in parody, for Left 4 Dead. Maybe I'll share it here when done, but that's doubtful.

Monday, January 19, 2009

Durex has earned my undying loyalty.

I know I generally post nothing but youtube videos, but I think I'm going to develop that into a segment of my blog, wherein I share whatever I'm watching at the moment or whatever I find particularly interesting with you.

Faona made my night by sharing this with me and I am absolutely in love with this commercial.

Friday, January 16, 2009

Don't Need You, I Want You.

I miss this band incredibly. Probably one of the best performances ever given on O'Brien's show.

Monday, January 12, 2009

It's Just A Little Too Late.

3:17 a.m.

I have to go with my Dad to the airport for 5:45, which means I'm leaving at 4:30. I have class at 10:15. I don't know why he needs to to go along, but I guess it gives me something to do with the time I'd have otherwise spent continuing my Veronica Mars marathon tonight. Tomorrow is going to be interesting, I can say that much for certain. I'm looking forward to the 3 hour break, if only so I can get a nap in. He's off to Dallas, Texas for a week on business, I sort of wish I could go with him just for the change of scenery.

Some of you asked me about my last post and what it meant. I'm surprised some of you didn't figure it out and at the same time, not surprised that some others did not. All the same, it's fairly simple once you know the trick. The block of letters is a distraction; though they help the process once you know the key to it. The numbers represent letters in the alphabet as they appear in sequential order. A=1, B=2, C=3 and so on. The order of the numbers arranges the letters to create the message. The block of letters represent the letters I used, and the reason the same ones are repeated represent which letters I've flagged with the numerical sequence. Have fun figuring it out now!

Daniel Rossen of Grizzly Bear did a cover of Jojo's summer pop hit "Too Little, Too Late." Elliot, the brilliant Brit that he is, shared it with me and I haven't been able to stop listening to it ever since. I figured I'd share it with the rest of you all.

Saturday, January 10, 2009


o e m s g a w r
t h er s g
e t h e a r t r c e
h o yd c o ec
o e C D r o y
o e m s h t s o m e
e t g r m co g t
o o y th es e h i
m se tr i g t s
y h c o g e a r s o e s t r h a r t
yo e he ar t
m se t t l
r i s h e
o s
y s

3-15-13-5 7-5-20 8-9-19 8-5-1-18-20

She knows his smell.

He knows her taste.

Friday, January 9, 2009

Don't Shake, I'd Hate To See You Tremble.

I don't dream. I just don't. It's one of the things you have to give up when insomnia becomes your nightly bed-fellow. The thing about dreaming is that it can only happen under certain conditions, mainly that you enter or be near something called R.E.M. sleep. No, this has nothing to do with the band, I'm sure you're not losing your religion. R.E.M. sleep, which simply stands for rapid eye movement sleep, takes about 90 minutes to occur and lasts for roughly 15 to 20 minutes. During this period, your brain activity is on the same level as it would be while awake, but on the subconscious level. Originally, it was called paradoxical sleep.

Now, on most nights, I don't sleep at all. On the rare instances where I succumb to micro-sleeping (a common occurrence with insomniacs, falling asleep with your eyes open or sleeping while maintaining consciousness.) , it never lasts longer than periods from a minute to half an hour at a time. Certainly not enough time to enter REM sleep! Now, as any insomniac can tell you, there are also "crashing" periods, where the body can no longer sustain itself and you simply pass out from the exhaustion. Because of the strain on the body, a person who merely knocks out will not enter the depth of sleep required to hit R.E.M. levels and thus, will not dream.

All this to drive home my opening statement: I don't dream. So, you can imagine my surprise when, last night, I had my first dream in a long time. It was absolutely bizarre and strangely vivid.

The dream begins sometime in the future, at a friend's 23rd birthday party, which would be taking place next September. We were sitting around the table of what I can only assume was his apartment as the cake was brought to the table. The girl holding the cake seemed terribly familiar to me, though I could not recall how I knew her. Events blur and now I'm standing outside, in the cold. I'm speaking to someone on the phone, who is in a frenzy. She is crying and sobbing hysterically, struggling to get her words out but cannot, for her weeping, form complete sentences. I try my best to calm her down, still unsure of even who she might be, but to no avail. Finally, she hangs up and I go back inside. Except now the apartment has changed. It is dark, and old friends are sitting around a coffee table looking grim. Joey looks up at me, frowns, and asks "Have you heard about Jav?". Confused by his statement, I reply that I haven't heard anything. Nathaniel looks up at me and asks "Are you holding up alright?" Now confused, I respond by telling him that I'm fine and have no idea why I wouldn't be. Everyone around me gives me strange looks. At this moment, I notice that everyone is dressed up formally and in rather somber attire.

Here is where things -really- get strange. An ex-girlfriend enters the room, walks directly towards me and hugs me, but then whispers in my ear, "Where the fuck is my sister?" Again, I'm absolutely confounded by her question. She takes a step back, places a hand on my cheek and asks the question again, this time louder. "Where the fuck is my sister?" I take a step back, think on the question but realize that, as I originally suspected, I have no idea what she's talking about. Telling her as much, her expression becomes harsh and she slaps me clean across the face. A man I do not recognize and who I can only assume is her boyfriend, grabs me by the collar and lifts me up slightly. "You had better not be fucking lying to her, man." Suddenly, I'm angry. I brush off his grip, shove him back and grip firmly on my ex's chin. When I speak, my voice is now not my own, but someone familiar's. "Whatever happened to her, it's not my problem. I don't know. I don't want to know. If you couldn't keep your shit together, that's your thing but I've got my own issues. Take care of your own shit on your own time, sweetheart. Don't fuck around."

Here, Adam stands up, puts his hand on my shoulder and pulls my hand away from her chin. He looks me in the eye and says "Let it go, man. He wouldn't want this." Even more confused, I finally outright ask him. "Who wouldn't want this? What's going on?"
He shakes his head and steps aside. Behind him, there was a mirror and, much to my horror, the face that I see is not my own. I'm my brother, dressed up the same as the others but with rings around my eyes as if I have not slept in some time. Then, everything blurs and I'm standing in front of a casket. Already, I'm in shock but I somehow know what to expect. Lifting the top of it, I find myself looking upon myself, resting peacefully and very much dead. I touch my own cheek, still very much in shock of what is happening and turn away from the casket. All my friends and family are behind me, though they all are wearing masquerade masks so that I cannot tell who each person actually is, just the vague awareness that these are, in fact, my friends and family. Suddenly, music begins to play, similar to a waltz but slightly quicker. Everyone begins to dance in pairs, passing by me one at a time. As they do, they laugh and say something to my fallen form.

"Good riddance" "We'll miss you" "Take care." "See you in hell." "I wish we never had met." "You should have been more careful." "I loved you then, I love you now." "You were a waste of time." "I couldn't have been more proud." "We'll meet again." "Good-bye."

The music begins to die down and the room begins to empty out until no one remains and all is silent. No longer in my brother's skin, I begin to feel cold and am uncertain of where I might be. Everything is dark. Then, a voice that I can't even now recognize speaks and says "Now comes the mystery, for all comedy is done and tragedy has no place here. To adventure, for nothing else now remains undiscovered."

It was then I woke up, shaking, covered in cold sweat and completely and utterly confused.

If this is my subconscious, I think I prefer not dreaming.

Thursday, January 8, 2009

Winter Class Schedule

In response to my last post and to Chrissy's entry, I'm going to be putting up my schedule here for those of you at Concordia or anyone in general who would want to help keep me company on my many, many, long breaks. My semester is just absolutely godawful. The classes are all wonderful, don't get me wrong, I'm really loving the material I get to study. The timing, however, is beyond lame.

Fuck snow, fuck winter, fuck storms. Spring please, now.

Wednesday, January 7, 2009

I hate winter.

Today has been, by a large margin, the worst day I've experienced in a long, long time. Waking up to snow coming down as if the sky was falling was certainly not a great start. Now, there's a bus that passes near me at 8:48. I was there at 8:43. The bus, on the other hand, only decided to show up at 9:52. Not only was it over an hour late, but it made me insanely late for my 10:15 class.

Now, after said class, I was walking from the FG building towards the Library building so that I could pick up some books from the store. This, dear readers, is where tragedy struck. The strap for my bag snapped and as I frantically reached for it to stop the fall, the rest of the bag tore. This resulted in my laptop and books to fall into the snow. Needless to say, panic ensued. Now, I never panic. You'd be hard-pressed to even find me worried these days, but when a laptop that costs the same as two year's tuition falls into snow and slush, you freak the fuck out.

I threw what I could into my pockets, grabbed what I can and made a mad-dash for the bathroom, where I stuck my belongings under the hand-drier and hoped for the best. Thankfully, save from some soggy textbooks, everything is fine. I was rather annoyed to have to dish out another 40$ for a new bag, but that's life.

I hate winter. I really, really, really hate winter. A lot. (yes, that is two words, kids. Start getting that right.)

On the bright side of things, I've got several ideas for things I want to do with this blog to help me feel encouraged to write here more often and to be more productive in general. You'll all be seeing soon enough, I imagine.

Also, you fellow Concordia students need to hook me up with your schedules, since I have 4 hour breaks left and right damn near every day. I could use some buddy-time!

Tuesday, January 6, 2009

Cheek to Cheek

I realize I post a lot of videos and, especially lately, my content has been lacking, but I'll make it up, I promise. Still, I feel obligated to share this video with you all. Anyone who has seen The Green Mile should recognize it, as this particular clip was shown, but I just finished watching the original film. Old Hollywood was a spectacular time and place.

Monday, January 5, 2009

Macbook Wheel OR Apple Sucks.

This is absolutely hilarious. Neal made my day by showing me this.

Apple Introduces Revolutionary New Laptop With No Keyboard